I Couldn't Imagine.

Yesterday while checking my blogs, I saw a simple entry on my friend Dewana's page. Dewana and her husband have just recently had a baby, so I do my baby dreaming through her posts. While I was expecting a funny story or a super cute baby picture she was linked to this blog. WOW. What I thought was going to be a beautiful story was that and so much more. Thanks Dewana for opening my eyes!


I couldn't imagine. I couldn't imagine having those emotions and not being able to express them. I couldn't imagine feeling that kind of heart break. I couldn't imagine feeling the heartbreak turn into love that quickly. As I sat and cried while reading her story, I thanked God that my delivery story went like it did. I love this blog. I love this mom. I love that her friends were there to capture the memories and moments that she had forgotten.


Right now, I am seeing a friend from my twins club in St Louis go through something that I couldn't imagine either. My friend Kelly, is fighting breast cancer. Kelly was first diagnosed nine years ago. After fighting the battle in her 30's she was put into remission and then cleared from the diagnosis. Last year, Kelly was once again diagnosed with cancer. This time the playing field was completely different. Kelly is married to a great man, Rich. They have four and a half year old twin girls, Vanessa and Abby, and has a step son. When the cancer returned it was in her bones and in a couple of other locations in her body. For almost a year a little pill ( her magic pill) kept the cancer at bay. Kelly was able to see her girls turn four. SHe was able to spend Christmas with them and take them on a vacation to the beach. On a regular basis Kelly goes in for scans, transfusions, and other treatments. Almost a month ago, the playing field changed again. After falling at the hospital and having the gut feeling the something wasn't right, Kelly and Rich found out the the cancer has yet again spread into her bone marrow. As I type this, Kelly is sitting in the hospital having daily platelet infusions and everyother day recieving a bag of blood.

I couldn't imagine. I couldn't imagine being Kelly, and I couldn't imagine being Rich. I can't even attempt to put myself in their shoes. All I can do, is give my boys hugs and kisses, and say a million prayers on their behalf. But I don't even know if I can find the words. I am so thankful that God knows my thoughts before I can form the words to say them.


Please lift up my friend in prayer. Prayer for her strength through these days ahead. Pray for her husband who is sitting at her side watching his best friend go through so much. Pray for their little girls. Just pray......

OOOOklahoma

Last weekend we loaded up the boys and headed to Oklahoma City. Both of Brandon's parents are from OK, and their mothers are both still living there. Brandon's Maga (Jeff's Mom) is currently very sick so we went to go and visit for a couple of days. We normally love going to OKC, but this time we were even more exicted than normal. Brandon's sister and her two girls were flying down from Alaska to make the visit with us.
Heather and the girls flew into Dallas on Thursday the 10th and were able to stay for a week. We headed down on Friday, after Brandon's crazy week at work had ended. We didn't get into Norman until midnight, but Heather had cooled off our room, had us some fresh fruit and a lovely welcome note waiting for us.

We were a little worried about how the boys would do, since we haven't stayed in a hotel room with kids since they were a year old. But they did great. We had to turn them sideways on the bed to fit, but they loved being able to sleep together. Heather and the girls room was right next door to ours, so we were able to help each other out a little bit, and it gave the kids more room to move around.

On Saturday we woke up, ate at the hotel, and then headed over to Maga's house. We were kinda in tight quarters with six adults and five kids, so we each took a turn visiting with Maga and then heading outside to watch the kids run around. They played tag, found gumballs of a tress and started playing 'baseball'. They were having a blast.

Brandon, Heather, Jeff, the kids and myself headed out for lunch, before we had complete meltdowns from five kids. And it just so happened that the restuarant we went to was located right next door to a Super Target. (I have to go in it everytime we go to OK). Brandon, the kids, and myself walked around for a little bit before heading back to the hotel for nap time.

After naps, we headed back to Maga's for pizza and some more playing. Since the idea had worked so well before we each took turns watching the kiddo's and even took them for a walk around the block. It was actually kinda relaxing. After we got back, Heather and I took the girls and headed out for a little shopping at Ross Dress For Less. (it's kinda like T>J> Maxx) While we were gone the boys decided to head back to Target and grab some Ice Cream inside at Coldstone.

We had made plans to head to OKC Sunday morning to tour the memorial and to eat lunch with my mother in laws sister and her husband. Sunday morning came, and it was black outside. We decided to hold off on the memorial and just head up for lunch and if it stopped raining we would walk to the memorial.

Brent and Linda have a gorgeous townhome located in the Bricktown Area of downtown. Along with serving us a delicious lunch, they let us spend the entire day playing with all the cool gadgets and toys that they have. Brent enjoyed showing Brandon and Jeff his home theatre, while Heather and I enjoyed their message chair. The kids loved playing on their elevator, and watching movies, and Lincoln even hoped in the message chair and tried it out. The sky cleared out and we headed over to the Oklahoma City Memorial. I had been there once before, but Brandon hadn't been since the bombing took place. It's weird to say it, but it is a very beautiful memorial. We had family friends who had two grandchildren killed that day. It was heartbreaking to look at the wall or memorabilia.

After walking back, Brent brought out the cool toys. Since they live downtown they each have a Segway. We all got to take turns riding around the block and even the kids hopped on. Within minutes Daniel, Lincoln, and Greyson were able to steer it as long as an adult was making it move. Brent took me for a ride on his BMW motorcycle. I've never been a super daring person, but it was really cool. It was hard for me to relax too much on it, after Beth's accident this summer, but I had a blast. Brandon did want to ride on the bike, so Brent took him for a ride in his new Mercedes convertible. Not just a normal one that you would see around the town we live in. And since I am such a car lover, I got a ride too!

After a hour or so of playing outside it was dinner time. We loaded up and drove down to a Mexican place right off the canal, while Brent and Linda rode their segways. We had a yummy, chaotic, but enjoyable meal and then headed back to Norman. The boys fell asleep talking about the segways and mommy riding a motorcycle. We all had a blast!

Monday morning came, and we were a litle worn out! Jeff, Heather and the girls took Maga and Holly (Jeff's sister) out to breakfast at Waffle House, while we slowly got around at the hotel. When they returned we loaded up and headed over to Maga's. We hung around for about a hour and said our goodbyes. Before we headed home, we made a quick stop in Moore, and had Whataburger. YUMMY! I love whataburger and we don't have them in Missouri. Luckily we'll get to eat it from now on whenever we go to OOOOklahoma!



We had a great time, and hated to leave but Brandon had to get back for work and the twins back for preschool!

Date Nights

Brandon and I are always talking about how we each need to spend more individual time with each of the boys. But everytime we say it, our crazy schedules get back in the way and we forget completely about it. This summer we each made a point to follow through.

To keep it fair we took the twins on the same date. Brandon took Daniel on Friday night, and I took Lincoln on Saturday night. We decided that it would be fun for them if we took them to Nakato's for dinner and then to see Toy.Story.3. They were so excited.

While dad and Daniel were out having some wonderful father- son time, Lincoln, Greyson, and I played out side in the sprinklers, did some yard work, and had breakfast for dinner. It ends up we all had a good time that night!

Saturday night was a little big different for all of us. As Lincoln and I were driving into Springfield, the sky turned very very dark. It looked as if night had fallen onto our town at 5pm. While we were indside eating the lights started flickering and you could hear it pouring down outside. When we walked out this is what we incountered.

Flash Flooding!

There was a good 8 inches of water in the Nakato's parking lot. As soon as Lincoln saw the water he was in complete panic mode. Luckily while we were eating, we met a family that lived across the street from us. The mom of the family help Lincoln while I rolled my pants up to my knees and walked the 10 feet to Brandon's car and backed it up. I know, I was crazy to let her do it, but I actually paid more attention to them then I did backing up the car.

After our crazy moment of loading him up, we headed down the street to Target. I needed to run a couple of errand since Father's Day was the next day. I was a bad wife and daughter and didn't have Brandon's or my dad's gifts finished. After a quick jaunt into Target, (it was so easy just taking one kid in there instead of three), we headed to the movie. We grabed some popcorn and a drink and headed to our seats. I didn't know how he would do since he'd only been to one other movie in a theatre before and he kept asking where Daniel was. He sat still for the most part, but got a little antsy towards the end. To tell you the truth I was the same way. TS3 was a little dark for me, but we had a great time!

As for the other 3 boys in our family; they were stuck at Braums and the gas station all night. Apparently when the sky went dark, they lost all power in the house. Brandon headed out for dinner since he wasn't able to cook anything. When Lincoln and I arrived home at 9, the other three had just pulled into the driveway a few minutes earlier. It was an exciting night for all of us!

1-800 Poison Control

I babysat a lot as a teenager. Everytime I would go the families house, they would show me the list of emergency numbers, emergency medicines and other important stuff. In all of the hours of babysitting, I never had to call Poison Control. Since moving and life pretty much going crazy... we've called poison control 3 times in 3 months. To be honest, we called once in June, and twice this week. Yep, you read that right.. twice this week. Once on Wednesday and again on Friday. I am pretty sure we are going down for the worst parents of the year awards.

When we called in June we were calling for Daniel. I had just given all three boys haircuts and baths, and the twins were insisting on wearing the exact same shirt to bed. Brandon dressed Lincoln and Greyson in the living room, while I finished dressing and brushing Daniel's teeth in the bathroom. While in the bathroom, I yelled out at Brandon, would you mind giving them their medicine? (Aka Benedryl) Sure he responds. I had already dosed Daniel, and thought that he understood that I was talking about the other two. The two that he had standing right in front of his face. Apparently he did not understand what I was asking, because as I looked up, Daniel was drinking his teaspoon of medicine! NOOOOOO! I screamed and started to panic. Brandon calmly found the phonebook, called poison control and announced that he will be okay. Not even five minutes later Daniel was passed out and snoring. He slept for 12 hours.

Fastforward to this week. Being the smart mommy that I am and knowing that we were about to run out of medicine, I purchased some extra at Wal-Mart. For some reason ( I call it laziness, but you can call it what you want), I opened the brand new bottle instead of walking twenty feet to the opened bottle in the bathroom. I gave my snotty nosed little boys their medicine and sent them off to bed. Before going to bed, I always to a once over in the kitchen.. I don't really know what makes me do it. But that Tuesday night, I saw the bottle checked it to make sure it was closed and moved it to the back of the counter. And off to bed I went.

Have I mentioned that Greyson has started waking up at 7:30 every morning, and since he loves his mommy so much and knows that I dearly love my sleep, so he plays in his room for twenty minutes before waking me up around 8:00. I guess on Wednesday morning, Greyson decided to help me out with stuff in the kitchen. When I was gracefully awoken by Greyson kissing me and telling me he was ready to eat, I stumbled into the kitchen to find a pair of scissors on the ground next to a opened package of crescent rolls. As I went to wipe off the scissors, I noticed that my white dish rag was pink and sticky. After a quick rub of my eyes, I then noticed that half of my brand new (minus 3 teaspoons) bottle of Benedryl was almost completely empty. I asked what had happened and Grey told me it went down the hole (aka his mouth). Hmmmm, I thought. I measured out how much was left; 2 teaspoons. I called Brandon after a quick assessment of Greyson's behavior. Brandon panicked and told me to call Poison Control. I thought he was overreacting. I called and talked to my mom, who is a nurse. Her answer: Call Poison Control. I wont deny it, panic started to set in. I dialed the number, talked to the nurse, and quickly the panic subsided. She told me that he would get either irritable or tired. Turns out he got both. While I was still on the phone with the nurse, Greyson passed out on the couch. After about a hour and a half nap, he woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Boy was he GROUCHY. He didn't want me to touch him, feed him, lay next to him, talk to him, nothing. I finally convinced him to eat. After that he was a much better and happier kiddo. The nurse called and checked in on him periodically through out the day, which was a great relief to me.

I do make sure to now put all medicine on the top shelf of the cabinets ... I am hoping that keeps him away!

After a smooth 48 hours, we were loading up to head out of town to Oklahoma City for the weekend. Once again being the smart parent that I am, counted out vitamins for the boys and threw them in a plastic ziploc bag and tossed them into my cosmetic bag in the kitchen. Brandon and I have a system. I pack and take it to the door and then he gripes about how much I've packed and takes it out to the car, where he attempts to load it and I undo it and reload it into the truck. It takes a little longer- but it works!

Anyway, so I guess in the shuffle of all five us trying to run around like chickens with our heads cut off, Greyson saw the vitamins and decided to open the bag. Not only did this cute little two and a half year old open the bag, but he then proceeded to eat all 18 vitamins located inside of said bag plus the two vitamins that I had given him twenty minutes prior. Wonderful! I instantly panicked. I've heard horror stories from fellow mothers of twins club members, about having to rush their little ones to the ER after an accidental overdose. This time, I let Brandon make the wonderful call to PC. After being asked several questions in which Brandon covers the mouthpiece of the phone and says, " I think she thinks we are bad parents", that I started to worry about a DFS phone call or visit. After finding out that Greyson would be okay, but might have a slight tummy ache, we continued to run around like little chickens!

Once we were on the road and half way to Joplin, Brandon and I just started laughing. I mean seriously, who has to call Poison Control twice in one week on the same child??! Only in the Howard household would that happen. Thank goodness we made it safely through our trip and with no more PC phone calls. I am hoping and praying that's a number we don't have to dial for a LONG, LONG time!

Rough Week

It's been a rough couple of weeks in the Howard House. Brandon has been prepping for a trial for the past two weeks. That means early mornings, late nights, no phone calls during the day, working on Saturdays and Sundays. Saying it's been rough is not even close. His case finally went to trial this week, the courthouse is well over a hour away. At first he thought he would be staying all week in another town, then it changed to three nights, then it changed to driving back and forth everyday. While he wasn't looking forward to all the time away and on the road, I was looking forward to the mileage check!
The boys have had a rough time with Brandon going to work. They've never known for him not to be home. While he was a full time student, it was still like he was a stay at home dad. Especially since he was unemployeed for over 10 months after school. So while normal works days get a little lonely for my boys, Brandon's trial prep was just brutal! I was trying to think of different things to do at night to get their minds off of dad, so one night was had a lite dinner and headed to Springfield so run a couple of fun errands and for some yummy Andy's Frozen Custard. (My boys may look just like their daddy, but they got their momma's love of ice cream!) They were in heaven and to make things even better Andy's is just down the street from Brandon's office. So Brandon snuck out of work at little early( it was 9:00pm and he had worked almost 15 hours), and met us at Andy's. They were so excited!

Eating yummy ice cream in the back of mommy's truck!